Euro-English
(from www.slinkycity.com - 19 January 2004)
...Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
The EU announces changes to the spellings of common English words European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivill servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typwriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Government will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivon vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
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Comments
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toby: its a joke, so many serious ppls, learn to laugh. very frustrating(29/09/2011)
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Harpo: Like! o My god! Totally Awesome LOL Ya no.(27/01/2011)
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qwqwqwqwqw: yeah...I can't read the last part(21/12/2007)
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: not gonna happen, fink us britons wud hav bin tld by nw!!(26/08/2007)
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: not gonna happen, fink us britons wud hav bin tld by nw!!(26/08/2007)
- exhelm: vov, I vish I had such a great idea. ya. idiots. Almost as dumb as our president.(11/10/2005)
- Dom: Ahh so we wont be speaking German...but english in a German accent...with a lisp(08/06/2005)
- ...: What the.......? Lets just hope none of this crap ever happens(31/05/2005)
