Darwinian Shorties II
(from Darwin Awards web site - 09 February 2007)
More of the bizarre stories of stupidity from around the world
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
RULES FOR BANK ROBBERS: According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their business. For instance it is reported that in spite of the widespread use of surveillance cameras, 76% of bank robbers use no disguise, 86% never study the bank before robbing it, and 95% make no long-range plans for concealing the loot. Thus, this advice is offered to would-be bank robbers: Consider another line of work.
A man walked into a Circle-K in Louisiana, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer was $15. Question: if someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. They placed the message "HE'S LYING" in the copier, and pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed to the police.
AVweb, a weekly aviation news letter, reported that a bungling burglar broke into a Mooney aircraft at the Knox County, Ohio airport and removed its avionics system, including the Emergency Locating Transmitter or ELT. This device sends homing signals if the aircraft crashes. You can guess what happened next. The ham-handed crook jarred the ELT enough to activate it, and authorities had no trouble tracking the perpetrator to his lair.
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two counterfeit $16 bills. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still wouldn't give him the money, so the robber called the police -- and was arrested.
A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking" stole a steamroller and led police on a 5mph chase, until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.
A guy wearing pantyhose on his face tried to rob a store in a mall. When the security came, he quickly grabbed a shopping bag and pretended to be shopping, forgetting that he was still wearing the pantyhose. He was captured, and his loot was returned to the store.
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Comments
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Jason: Very funny, like it.(10/08/2010)
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sweet as sugar: these are really funny ive been telling my friends and they cant wait to hear more(17/11/2008)
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LOL: so funny I love these stupid stories cause they r the only one's i understand! ☺ jk(14/12/2007)
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shaul: hey im famous now everyonwe knows my name eitan is a fool hah ha hya ha(04/12/2007)
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elli: hey stupid ppl make my day(LOL)(24/09/2007)
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meg: haha.(20/07/2007)
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coonue: ok
(21/02/2007)
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morganism: haha this stories are soo stupid. i love it!(13/02/2007)
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C-ACE: You People Commenting are retarded "duuu Where Do the people come from haha" well If you can read it says it right on all the paragraphs (15/12/2006)
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dave: lol,is all i need to say(09/12/2006)
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NICK: I BET ALL THEM WERE IN USA? THE DUMB ...(08/01/2006)
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Jack: these people sound like our world leaders , lol where do they all come from? (23/12/2005)
- melanie: WoW! These stories just made my day! :o)(04/12/2005)
- Bailie: Wow.(28/10/2005)
- Felix: LOL!!!!!(10/10/2005)
- Marianne: Who lets these people OUT?(05/08/2005)
