Personal tales of woe...
(No user rating) (from Various - 05 December 2000)True stories that have that wonderful cringe factor.
Having survived my first driving lesson, I emerged from the car to come face to face with a woman standing on the pavement. "A bit nerve-wracking, was it?" she asked. "More than that," I laughed, "My instructor reeks of BO and has a bit of a wind problem. No way do I want a lesson from him again!" "I know the feeling," said the woman coolly. "I've been married to him for 20 years." ......... You can see right into my garden from next door, so one day last summer, when my neighbour had a group of mates over, I went for a sunbathe on the patio, you know, to show off my muscles to all the girls. Unfortunately, when I jumped on the sun-lounger, I bounced straight off it again, right into a pile of fresh dog pooh on the lawn! Not only did I humiliate myself, I got a face full of muck and a sprained ankle too. .......... I was on a double date with this girl called Polly, my mate Steve and his girlfriend. It all went really well - until the end of the night when I walked Polly home and decided to give her a goodnight kiss. Just as I leant over, Steve appeared and started pulling stupid faces behind Polly's back. I couldn't help laughing, but I wish I hadn't, because snot came exploding from my nose and landed all over her cheek! Funnily enough, that was our last date.