All's fair in Love and War
(from www.users.cloud9.com - 26 January 2001)
Taking it in turns to write a paragraph creating one single story, harmonious don't you think?
This assignment was actually turned in by two English students:
Rebecca
English 44A
SMU
Creative Writing
Prof Miller
In-class Assignment for Wednesday
Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.
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At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole
through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table.
"We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!"
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
You total $*&.
Stupid %&#$!.
Comments
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LOL: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL laugh my ass off(14/11/2008)
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chow youngfat: laughed my ass off... good one:)(11/03/2008)
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troy sterling: stupid myth(07/01/2008)
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jurrien: brilliant story of how differen people are(04/01/2008)
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Bored @ work: It has cheered me up and kept me amused... like a bright light shining through the dark void of boredom! (01/11/2007)
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Dan: Okay, this is the total BEST thing ever. I wish I could do stuff like that.(30/10/2007)
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Sponge Bob: Even a girl cud think this was funny. some people just need a sense of humour.(14/03/2007)
- steven spielberg: sounds like the makings of mt next movie...cheers(15/10/2005)
- Laura: Actually, it proves that women are better at creative writing than men because emn pack too much into a small space making their stories to busy and confusing while women use description and feelings to make an intresting story. (07/10/2005)
- lloyd: i dont think this makes kids stupid!!! i think it just proves the fact that men have more creative writing abilities than women, the way the boy turned around the story to his advantage was extremely funny!!!! i enjoyed reading this very much!!!(02/09/2005)
- Tonie: I thought this was very funny!! :-)(02/09/2005)
- peter: wow, kids sure ar stupid.(16/06/2005)
