Childrens funny stories
(from - 26 January 2004)
1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
6 When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
7 A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WhICH, is four."
8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" THe teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
10 A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys? Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
Find other Children articles
Comments
-
mbt shoes: Very good sharing this. (20/07/2010)
-
Ffion: They where well funny! LOL(14/11/2008)
-
alexia: i luvvvvvvvvved these they were gr8 so plz add more!!!(12/07/2008)
-
James: This was ace(11/07/2008)
-
errrrrrr: it was good sooo make more and i am going to tell my friends!!!!!!!!!!!(09/04/2008)
-
jessie: i love them so did me dad i even told my m8s about them!!!(07/04/2008)
-
hannahbanana: i liked these articles but i agree wit the other peeps i dont thnk tht young children should be able to view thease(04/03/2008)
-
deli weli: these jokes are soo funny,but i agree wit person 1 its not suitable for young kids(18/01/2008)
-
tshepiso: it was really funny and i had a good laughf but....it is a bit inappropreat 4 yong kids(01/10/2007)
-
booty to the mod: eh. it was ok, i would have liked a cleaner page... without the cussin(24/06/2007)
-
emem sc: very funny,indeed...esp. the chicken little story...(23/06/2007)
-
MysTeriOus CHICKEN: i like da stories...very funny i lke da chicken one a lot and my favourites are no 1, 2, 3, 8 , 10(05/06/2007)
-
lorantiya: I hate this it is all junk(20/05/2007)
-
Saany: these are soooooooooo funny.My favourites are 1,7,9 and 10.
(12/05/2007)
-
goody: gooooooood
(03/05/2007)
-
???: i like the chicken 1 lol hi Saffron Attwell :)(08/03/2007)
-
karma: i do like these but i really cannot tell these jokes to children after all that is what Im looking for and u did put it under children jokes(31/01/2007)
-
rebecca: i like this stories!!! very very funny..(18/01/2007)
-
magillicutti: I love them all they are tooooooo funnny!!! The things children will say.(08/11/2006)
-
Kim: Very Amusing!(15/08/2006)
-
Stevi: i really like these stories you sould get more sometime and then i will came back and read them oh and my favourite ones were #1,2,8 and 10 thanks(29/06/2006)
-
kelz: LOL luv the lil chicken 1(20/06/2006)
-
Kame: That are very great stories there!!!
Make more!!!=)(14/06/2006)
-
Tina&Lisa says...: We like this stories very much.=)
they are very funny and we all read them...all class like them...(14/06/2006)
-
St&T: This is a very funny page(14/06/2006)
-
Tina&Lisa says...: We like the stories very much...they are very funny...=)
Liebe Grüße...Tina & Lisa(14/06/2006)
-
Clarissa Knechtl: These stories.(14/06/2006)
-
tiffany: Ye Jane you obviously dont get out much and tina you obviously dont get any of the rest coz they are all hallirious(30/04/2006)
-
annafromoxford: hystericle i work with kids and hear these sorts or things every day(22/04/2006)
-
abramo1999: they put fun in fundamental(10/04/2006)
-
mchaela: ye jane your the one that dosent get out much if you dont think these are funny why dont you write one your self i bet it isnt better than any of these!(18/03/2006)
-
tina_pinklover: honestly i think number 2 was hilarious the other ones are crap(30/01/2006)
- milly: ye this is really funny i guess your the one who dosent get out much.(15/10/2005)
- Rachael: guess i dont get out much then...(23/09/2005)
- ss: are u sure jane actually read any of these?(25/08/2005)
- jane: this is rubbish. can nobody think of proper funny stories. whoever finds this funny really doesnt get out much!!(08/08/2005)
- Emma: This is very funny and worthwhile!!!~(10/07/2005)
- megan and rae : really funny and all worth reading(30/06/2005)
